Many of you have seen my numerous Facebook posts on updates with Brian’s job applications and how we’ve heard several “no’s” from every different corner he’s applied to. It’s been discouraging for both of us. We’ve often wondering what God is doing behind the scenes and why he makes us wait until, what seems like, the very last minute. We often talk about how we are going to make it after we move back to the states if no job has come through for us yet. We worry, but then we get over our anxiousness as we learn to rely on Scripture and the glory of God through prayer.
This whole experience has been a year of learning to trust God. Just trust. Not do anything. But just sit back and trust. If you know me at all, you will know that I like to have things planned out faaaar in advance. I like to know what’s going to happen and when and I want to have control over how it’s going to happen. What I needed to do in order to really learn to trust God is meditate on Scripture. I put verses up around the Flat where I know both of us look a lot. I put verses of prayer and trust and God’s goodness and finding joy in trials. I put them up for Brian, but secretly, I really put them up for me. :) I’ve definitely seen a difference in my anxious heart. There’s more of a peace and understanding of the sovereign love and care God has for us.
Last week, I had a maternity photo shoot with some friends from the church we attend here. Afterwards, we went out to eat at a local pub for some really yummy burgers. (You guys, seriously, they are really good!) We got to talking about the Lord and different things we’ve seen him do in our lives. The subject of trust and salvation came up. And it dawned on me that I trust God for my salvation. I trust that he sent his Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for my sins and because of his sacrifice and my acceptance that I can not get to God on my own without a Mediator I trust that I have been set free in the sight of God and I have been redeemed. If I can trust him for my salvation, how can I NOT trust him in my daily life to meet our needs? It seems so much easier to trust him for my salvation than it does to trust him for our daily needs. And then I started to ask myself why it seemed so much easier. Is it because I think that lightly of my sin? I certainly hope not! I hope that I will always be mindful that I am a great sinner, but I have a great Savior and will be ever thankful for his grace in my life and lives I’ve seen transformed by his love and mercy. It seems that my mind set was that God doesn’t care about the details of our lives. He didn’t want to be bothered with it. But if he was so willing to give him only Son for us, how could he not be willing to be bothered with our daily needs? He is a good and sovereign God. He loves his glory and desires that we love his glory as well. He is a jealous God how doesn’t want any other god to be put in front of him. He wants and desires our attention. So as he makes us wait until, what seems like, the very last minute he is just using it to draw us closer to him so we learn to see really how good and loving he is.
We still don’t know what God has for us in the next few months, but we do know God is in control of it and his plans and ways are far better than what we could do. Even though, what seems to be perfect for us and at the right time, God knows much better than we do what is right and perfect.